


Turning Over a New Leaf (leaf me alone)

by Gohandinhand



Series: All in the Golden Afternoon [3]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5099711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gohandinhand/pseuds/Gohandinhand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca is not having a great month.<br/>Or, the one in which you have to admire Beca's commitment to pizza.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turning Over a New Leaf (leaf me alone)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PinkCanary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkCanary/gifts).



> Basically, PinkCanary was whining to me about how her fitness tracker kept annoyingly telling her when she's fertile, and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard and I couldn't let it go. So this was born: In which PinkCanary is basically Chloe and I may have transferred my adoration of pizza onto Beca. 
> 
> Also, this "posting a series out of order" thing was already an experiment and then this piece also turned into a mixed-media piece before I realized what was going on. Sorrynotsorry.

The first sign that Beca was no longer alone in the house was the pair of hands that materialized out of nowhere and ripped the headphones off her ears.

Beca let out a full-body shriek and instinctively curled into a protective stance before looking up to check out her surprise visitor.

She let out another shriek, this time in rage.

“What the _fuck_ , Chloe?! A little warning next time? I thought I was about to get axe murdered!”

Chloe snorted out a laugh she couldn’t quite contain, and then went back to trying to look genuinely remorseful.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to get you to pee your pants! I just got too excited! Look, Becs, they’re _here_!”

Beca narrowed her eyes at the woman in front of her, whose apparently irrepressible excitement was once again escaping her body in literal vibrations.

“I… what?” Beca queried in confusion as Chloe waved a couple of nondescript brown UPS packages in front of her face.

Chloe’s excited vibrating stopped abruptly, and she fixed Beca with a disappointed frown. The exact expression of morose that Beca knew (and Chloe knew and weaponized for her consistent benefit) that she had absolutely no power to resist.

“The fitness tracker? _Becs_. The Leaf thing!” 

At Chloe’s forlorn reminder, Beca had a vague flash of a memory. Chloe had been excitedly babbling about – well, Beca still wasn’t _entirely_ sure, even now. Honestly, Chloe’s latest fitness kick had been intensified by their move to LA far more than Beca had been prepared for.  And the most she could dredge up was Chloe being really excited about the name of some fitness tracker – she couldn’t remember why – and her own half-hearted consent for Chloe to preorder one for each of them.

 

Honestly, Beca had just been trying to get Chloe to leave her alone so she could continue her sneaky munching on the candy she’d hidden from Chloe in her purse. Sue her.

 And as usual, her avoidance tactics were now coming back to bite her in the butt.

 

“Oh. Uh. Right. The… leaf thing?” Beca gracelessly tried to smooth over her lapse in memory.

Of course, Chloe hadn’t been fooled by Beca’s sad attempts at deceit in at least eight years, and her response was to give Beca her usual look that plainly stated how not-fooled she was.

“Becs…” Chloe sighed in exasperation as she handed Beca one of the boxes. “The fitness tracker. Remember? You promised that you’d wear one and make some attempt at being in shape if I agreed to ordering pizza twice a month.”

At this, Beca brightened.  She had completely forgotten the deal she’d managed to wrangle out of this new health-obsessed version of her wife. She dutifully tore open the package as Chloe excitedly ripped into hers, and pulled out… honestly, it was horrendously ugly.

 

She could see why Chloe loved it.

 

The box was one of the dumbest artsy packaging attempts Beca had ever been privy to, but okay.  And it was branded with some curly script that proclaimed “Bellabeat” in too-small letters - _and now she’s spending too much brain power judging their marketing techniques_ \- but at least she remembered why Chloe had immediately lost her shit upon finding out about the company’s existence. ‘ _Becs, it’s a BELLABEATS product! That’s clearly a sign!_ ’ And…

“Chloe, what the _fuck_? You bought me ‘ _smart jewelry_ ’?! Have you ever met me? How are we even married?”

“Smart jewelry _slash_ fitness tracker, Becs! Look, the tracker is in the leaf so you can just clip it onto your clothes if you want! Or you can wear it as a necklace, hence the “smart jewelry”, which I’m totally going to do because look how cute! Or you can put in on the leather cuff and use it as a bracelet-type thing, which I figure is more your style?” Chloe batted her eyelashes at Beca innocently.

Beca stalled for a moment, thinking. A leather cuff was something she donned pretty frequently, sure, but her accessories didn’t usually include a fucking two inch long ornate metal-and-wood _leaf_. Beca does not enjoy jokes about her diminutive height, but even she could admit that her small frame was about to be a disadvantage. The sheer size of this thing meant it would cover basically her entire wrist, making it far less of an incognito option than she had been presuming it would be. And she really, _really_ didn’t want the paparazzi to publish photos of her wearing this glaringly conspicuous girly shit.

“I… well… Okay. Fine.” Beca finally folded, because – _pizza_. Also, giving into Chloe on this meant brownie points for at least a month.

 

And maybe she just _really_ liked seeing Chloe’s face light up with that smile that basically turns her eyes into a light source, but she’d only admit that under duress.

 

Chloe squealed and pressed a kiss to Beca’s cheek before she smacked both boxes down on the surface of Beca’s desk and tore the top open to get to the tracker inside. She pulled out her own Leaf and immediately tore further into the packaging to pull out the bag with the necklace chain in it, promptly stringing it before holding it up to her neck. She swept her hair off to her shoulder with one hand, turning around and presenting Beca with her neck, wordlessly requesting her help in doing up the clasp, which she immediately obliged.

Now donning her new “necklace”, Chloe took a couple of seconds to admire it before turning her attention to Beca’s package. Taking out the Leaf, she pulled the leather cuff out of the box this time, fastening one end to the leaf and gesturing for Beca to hold out her arm.  Beca dithered for a moment, trying to decide which arm to offer, before eventually holding out her right arm - hoping that the leaf would be less noticeable on her non-dominant side.

Chloe grimaced as she wrapped the leather piece around Beca’s proffered arm, then immediately tried to cover it up – of course, not before Beca noticed and immediately called her on it.

“What’s wrong, Chlo? Is it broken?” Beca eagerly asked.

Chloe glowered at her wife, then smoothed out her expression as she responded.

“No, it just, uh… Well, the strap is supposed to wrap around your arm twice before fastening it closed here, see? But your wrist is so small that… look.”

Beca looked down as instructed, then immediately did a double-take.

“Chloe Elizabeth. You are not trying to tell me that a _women’s_ activity tracker didn’t anticipate small wrists and you’re having to wrap it around my arm _three times_ before it’s tight enough to fasten? That looks… fucking ridiculous.”

Chloe just grimaced and shrugged.

“Uh… more leather coverage? It gives you proportionally more leather-to-Leaf?”

Beca didn’t even verbally reply, instead choosing to fix Chloe with a blistering look that said all she needed.

Chloe simply leaned in and whispered enticingly into Beca’s ear.

“ _Pizza_ , Becs.”

Yeah. Chloe had her number.

 

 

 

 

 

At 6:30 the next morning, Beca startled awake with a jerk.

“Wha… huh?” she said groggily, then held her wrist in front of her face and glared at the leaf as it vibrated an alert at her. Turning on her side, she grabbed a pillow to smack Chloe with it, only to find the other side of the bed empty. As Beca sat up in bed with a groan, Chloe bounded out of the bathroom, dressed in workout clothes and already bright-eyed and cheery.

“Becs! Get up, get up, we’re going for a run! Here’s your stuff!”

Beca didn’t even have enough energy to react when the bundle of clothes Chloe threw at her smacked her in the face, simply letting out a pathetic groan as they fell into her lap.

She really should have thought it through more before letting Chloe do all the set up for her.

 

 

 

 

 

Beca was shouting at her wrist when Gia walked through the door, one eyebrow raised.

“Uh, hey, Beca.  Everything alright in here?”

“I… I need help.” Beca looked at Gia pleadingly, a miserable look on her face. “Chloe is making me wear this stupid activity tracker thing and I think she set some kind of alarm on it when she set it up for me.  And it keeps going off and I can’t figure out how to turn it off and the vibrating keeps scaring me! There aren’t even any buttons!”

Gia looked at Beca in disbelief and, upon realizing that Beca was completely serious, broke out into laughter. The pout Beca shot her backfired and only made the receptionist laugh even harder before she was finally able to straighten up and pull herself back together.

“No, Beca. Those things… don’t have buttons, you’re right. They all sync through the phone. Did you not even watch Chloe set it up?” At Beca’s slow headshake, Gia snorted in exasperation. “Okay, pull out your phone. There should be an app for it on there.” 

 

Beca did as directed, and her mouth formed into a small “O” when she found the app on her phone and realized how much information it held. She thumbed through it for a few moments, before finally finding the alarm that Chloe had set.  

 She groaned and showed the screen to Gia, who scanned it and broke into uproarious laughter once again.

“She set it on the highest level so it goes off every time you sit for an hour. She got you good, Beca.”  Gia stood up, shaking her head again in amusement, and left the room - still laughing.

“Wait a second! What did you need? Gia! I don’t know how to turn this off! _Come back_!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beca stomped into the house later that afternoon, calling out for Chloe as soon as she slammed the front door open. When Chloe called back to her from their bedroom, Beca stormed across the house, stopping to loom menacingly in the doorway.

Chloe, unaware of Beca’s mood, greeted her brightly without looking up from the pile of laundry she was folding,

“Hey, Becs! How was your day?”

At Beca’s uncharacteristic silence (Chloe wasn’t “allowed” to tell anyone, but Beca was usually very clingy and affectionate when returning home from a day apart), Chloe looked up from the pile to see her wife glowering in the doorway. She stood up immediately, dropped a half-folded shirt onto the pile, to cross immediately over to Beca and grip her shoulders comfortingly.

“Aw, what’s wrong sweetie? Did something happen with Adele?”

“If by “something happening” you mean _this_ fucking thing,” Beca growled, “going off _all fucking day_ at random and making me shriek every time and ruin several otherwise excellent takes, then yes, I guess something happened.”

Chloe’s face fell and she looked at Beca with a remorseful expression.

“Oh. Becs. I’m sorry. It just uh… that alarm is just supposed to tell you to get up and move around if you’ve been sitting too long.” 

“An _hour_ , Chloe? An hour is not too long! I have to sit at the soundboard to _do my job_. Turn it off.”

 “Wait, you hated it that much but you left it on all day?”

“… _Chlo_. You know the soundboard is the only technology I can work. I figured out the app –“ Chloe coughed, and Beca continued seamlessly, “ – Gia showed me the app, and I can see the inactivity alert but I can’t figure out how to turn it off."

Chloe stifled her laughter, knowing that with Beca’s current mood she wouldn’t react well to being laughed at. She held out her hand for Beca’s phone, quirking an eyebrow up at Beca when Beca slammed it into her palm. 

“Sorry.” Beca muttered. “I’m gonna go change.”

 Beca stepped into the walk-in closet just as Chloe opened up the app, a giggle that she simply couldn’t restrain finally slipping out. Beca’s arm shot out of the closet, flipping Chloe off, before quickly retreating again.

Chloe laughed even louder.

“Okay, I turned it off Becs. I’m sorry it ruined your day.”

Beca plodded out of the closet, now dressed in short shorts (Chloe’s favorite… her mind wandered for a few seconds before she pulled her focus back) and a worn-through Bella’s shirt. She walked over to Chloe and grumpily pressed herself into Chloe’s warmth, burying her face in Chloe’s neck.

“I hate you.” She mumbled into Chloe’s skin.

Chloe just grinned, pressing a kiss to Beca’s temple and squeezing her tight.

“You’re going to hate me more at 6am.” 

“ _CHLOE_!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beca was completely, unequivocally, going to murder Chloe. She fumed at her desk, starting to plot out how she’d survive in prison.

Gia knocked lightly on the door and opened it slowly, poking her head around the frame at Beca’s grouchy, “enter!”

“What’s eating you today, smalls? I’m just here to drop off these messages for you.  Don’t hurt the messenger.”

Beca wordlessly held out her phone, showing Gia Chloe’s new form of torture. Gia’s eyes scanned down the page and when she found the, “Get off your ass” alarm Chloe had set, she started _cackling_ like a cartoon witch.

 

“Oh my god. FINE. Give me those and leave me in peace!” Beca barked, waving Gia out the door. Beca gritted her teeth when she heard Gia’s laughter echo with the sound of her heels tap-tapping all the way back down the hallway.

Yeah, she was ordering pizza for dinner tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that was how Beca’s next two weeks went. Chloe continued to torture her with various settings that Beca couldn’t figure out how to change, acted remorseful, and then _kept doing it_.

Beca may have spitefully been eating gummies on the couch when Chloe got home from work yesterday but _who could blame her_? She needed the sugar for stress relief because the powerful vibrations from the stupid tracker came so randomly that the anticipation for the next one had her constantly on edge. Beca had only been half-joking about texting Stacie to ask for some Xanax last week. She’d even tried to switch it from the bracelet to the clip, hoping that would make it less startling.  But the first time it had vibrated against her collarbone, she let out a screech of horror-movie caliber and batted at her neck frantically, lost in her panic that it was some sort of horrible, terrible bug trying to burrow its way into her neck.

 

Honestly, Beca was afraid she was losing her mind.

 

So when Chloe got home from work and started cuddling with Beca, she settled in with relief, willing to admit that Chloe’s snuggles were soothing (because how could they not be?).

But when Chloe turned the topic to fretting over the data from Beca’s tracker – “Becs, look, you still spend WAY too much time sitting. You’re getting like, half as much activity as you need to!” - Beca could feel her anxiety skyrocketing again.

And Beca just lost it a little, whining into Chloe’s chest.

  
“Okay, but Chlo, this thing is AWFUL. It won’t stop scaring me and OH MY GOD _why_ does it feel like it has to give me an alert for when I’m fertile? How does it even know?! _It doesn’t matter when I’m fertile, Chloe! I don’t need to know that! We are not getting pregnant!_ ”

“Well, at least not yet -”

“ _My uterus has permanently gone fishing. WE ARE GAY!_ ” Just as Beca finished her rant, the tracker started vibrating another alert at her and Beca shrieked and jumped in alarm, her head shooting up and managing to clip Chloe’s jaw forcefully. Chloe let out a screech of her own, clasping her hand to what was surely going to be a large bruise, before realizing that the taste filling her mouth was blood from where her teeth had been forced into her tongue.

“Thuck, Eca!” Chloe mumbled through a mouthful of blood, trying not to move her throbbing tongue.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Oh my god, Chlo I’m so sorry! Are you okay?!” Beca started frantically questioning as she gently turned Chloe’s head to get a look at her injury. “Shit. Fuck. Fuck. I’m going to grab an ice pack and stuff.  Stay right here.”

“Oo ice-acks,” Chloe once again mumbled “an a owel.” Beca nodded in reply, sprinting off and returning half a minute later with several icepacks and a paper towel for Chloe to try to clean some of the blood off with.

 

Once she was finally cleaned up, situated with the icepacks, and Beca had forced a few Advil down her throat, Beca stood up and stared down at Chloe for a minute, thinking. When Chloe quirked an eyebrow at Beca in question, Beca finally let out a decisive nod.

“Right.” She said firmly, and then stalked out of the room.

A few seconds later, Chloe heard the roar of Beca’s car starting and the garage door opening. She leapt out of the recliner, fumbling with the icepack, and sprinted out to the garage just as Beca shifted into reverse.

Chloe watched, jaw dropped and eyes wide, as Beca smoothly backed over the Leaf she had placed behind her back tire, and then shifted into drive and rolled over it once more – and then, apparently just to be safe, repeated the whole thing twice more.

Beca parked her car once more, turning it off before climbing out and walking briskly to the trunk. She scooped it up (most of it – some of it was smashed into miniscule fragments that would have to be vacuumed up at some point) and walked back over to Chloe, proudly holding it flat in her hand to present it to her wife.

Chloe finally came back to her senses, snapping her jaw shut but staring incredulously at the completely useless scrap of metal and wood in Beca’s palm.

Beca was anxious about Chloe’s response – she was the one had been _really_ into this whole fitness thing, after all – but after a long minute of growing worry as she waited for Chloe’s reaction, Chloe finally spoke.

“Yeah. Okay. That’s fair.” Beca let out a sigh of relief. “Want to order pizza tonight?”

Beca squealed and pulled Chloe into tight hug.

With their arms still around each other, they turned to walk back into the house.

“Fuck, you’re the best wife ever. I made the best decision ever when I married you.”

“You weren’t even the one who proposed, Beca. Oh my god, _don’t you dare lock me out here! BECA MITCHELL!_ ”

 

 

(Beca did let her in before the pizza got there.)

(Barely.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Join me in my trashcan at gohandinhand.tumblr.com!


End file.
